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Himanshi Sani

in your absence

a lot has been happening

finally found my first

strand of white hair

getting sick maybe old

closer to death and all

my house is still

frozen in time

since you last visited

the giraffe painting

under my table

our picture on my fridge

your note on my cupboard

i make my bed

and then crumple the bedsheet

precisely to match

your silhouette on it

i exercise now

doesn't make me happy

like they claim on the internet

i am learning to cook

just to eat everything

we had together

does not taste the same

not even the kehwa

we have spent our evenings sipping

i have my own moka pot

brewing just the empty

space that lives between us now

i use all the diaries you gifted

mostly to scribble

lame poems like this one

i turn it on

the lamp you made me

on some nights

hoping you will see it

from my window

my most courageous

way to invite you

to make you feel

like nothing has changed

like it was just yesterday

that you left

Himanshi is a designer based in the Himalayan foothills of India. Writing these pieces is part of her healing journey. As a designer, her muse has always been nature and human emotions: how they work, and how they help the past, present, and future converge.
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